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A dear friend asked me that question and continued: ‘I understand everything in my head but I can´t act differently.’ And that´s a classic. We notice that we´re repeating patterns but actually getting help seems exagerated to us. So we´re going in circles hoping that we´re going to solve the problem by ourself eventually. And at somepoint we probably will but why remain in these time and energy consuming circles? I want to give a few explanation on RPT basis and speak about common obsticles we feel about getting help. Also I want to encourage you to get support immediately to be considerate with yourself and use your energy and ressources more efficiently.
What is my desired situation?
Let´s first look into the question do I have a blockage: in the end that is not that important! (I´ll write about blockages a different time though!) The question is more: is the situation as I would like it to be? Do I produce the results I want. Ans when you wonder wether you hae a blockage or not you probably can assume that there is something that bothers you and that you want to be changed. That´s more important to know then having a diagnos about your state.
We like to linger with defining our state of being. This way we keep our mind busy without having to act, as in acting differently! Because exactly that is the challenge. Of course, we´re doing this unconsciously.
In addition to that we usually don´t allow ourselves to get help easily. We still think that taking therapy or coaching sessions means we are weak or incapable or that in order to take session something severe has to have happened to us. The idea that a certain degree of suffering has to be met before I get support is part of this.
We don´t have to manage everything alone
Thing is, we´re allowed to get support already with small challenges. And that support can be therapy or Coaching. Especially coachings can be taken nearterm and focused on a certain goal.
Before we go in circles hoping to solve the situation on our own it is more rewarding and also compassionate (!) to find suitable help. Because inner conflict, the back and forth in our head, takes up a lot of energy. You can recognize inner conflicts by thoughts like: “acutally all is well but somehow…!” Listen up if yo hear these thoughts a lot from yourself. You can make better use of your inner ressources when you dedicate some time to listen inside of you, so you can pinpoint the issue and solve it. Also or evenmore so when you think you have no time for it. In the end you´ll save time and energy
Why can´t I put into action something that I already know in my head?
The fact that we can think differently but not act differently derives from the circumstance that somewhere in your system is stored, that your acustomed behaviour is beneficial in some way. Your body is always on your side and wants to serve you in the best way. Therefore he created a repertoire of patterns that help him to secure your survival. Because that´s your body´s priority. This is how the discrepancy between your mind and body arises. You don´t solely want to survive but live good, according to your dreams and ideas. And your mind can imagine new ways of acting but your body first needs lived proof to change it´s behaviour.
How Do I solve this descrepancy
To apply new behaviours in your daily routine your body first needs to know that the new behaviour is save. Before he´s not sure of that he won´t let go of routines and stears you towards the well known circles. And knowing for your body means he needs to have felt it and have his made experience.
So brauchen wir erst einmal Klarheit und Bewusstheit über unser Tun. Hier kommt die besagte Hilfe ins Spiel. Klarheit erlangen wir viel schneller mit gezielter Unterstützung. Denn meist liegt die Lösung genau in unserem blinden Punkt, und um den zu sehen brauchen wir einen Spiegel, ein (wohlwollendes) Gegenüber.
Wenn wir uns schon etwas auf die Schliche gekommen sind kann eine Möglichkeit sein bewusst durch Hemmungen und Ängste hindurch, neue Handlungen an den Tag zu legen. Diese müssen wir gewissermaßen forcieren. Das ist nicht immer leicht, doch es ist ein Weg wie Dein Körper lernen kann: „ich habe das gemacht und habe überlebt; wird ins Repertoire aufgenommen.“
Das ist auch, was wir im RPT-Coaching erreichen wollen: durch Einbeziehung der körperlich-instinktiven Ebene alte Muster auflösen und dadurch neue Handlungswege eröffnen. Im RPT-Prozess können wir diese neuen Wege nicht nur von Kopf her sehen sondern auch im Körper fühlen. Das ist eine behutsame Möglichkeit dem Körper die notwendige Erfahrung von Sicherheit zu geben.
So findest Du geeignete Hilfe
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